Your Hands

Twelve Commandments for Husbands

1. Thou shalt love thy wife and commit thyself to
 her for a lifetime of oneness in marriage - divine
 and indivisible. Thou shalt make of thy marriage
 an exclusive relationship so that thy wife shall
 never have occasion to doubt thy love nor occasion
 for jealousy or lack of trust. As the scriptures
 say, "Husbands love your wives just as Christ
 loved the church and gave himself up for her"
 (Ephesians 5:25); "What therefore God hath joined
 together, let not man put asunder" (Mark 10:9); 
"Cleave unto thy wife" (Genesis 2:24). 

     

2. Thou shalt seek to understand thy wife.
 Thou shalt not be able to understand her, but
 thou shalt make a lifetime effort to do so.
 As the scriptures say, "Husbands, dwell
 with your wives according to knowledge"
 (1 Peter 3:7). 

     

3. Thou shalt talk to thy wife when thou
 comest home from thy work, when
 thou sittest in thine house, when
 thou liest down, and when thou
 risest up. Thou shalt at times turn off 
the television to assure thy wife 
she is more cherished than your 
favorite program, for communication
 is an expression of love. As the scriptures say,
 "Live a life of love" (Ephesians 5:2). 

     

4.  Thou shalt not talk down to thy wife 
nor use sarcasm or ridicule. Thou shalt not
 belittle her, for her sense of self-worth is
 much dependent on your appreciation
 and encouragement of her. As the
 scriptures say, "Love is kind" (1 Corinthians 13:4),
 and again, "Do everything without complaining
 or arguing" (Philippians 2:14), and again, "In honor
 prefer one another" (Romans 12:10). 

     

5. Thou shalt listen to thy wife, asking
 for her advice and opinions, and recognizing 
her mental abilities and talents, as Abraham 
asked and followed Sarah's advice. As the scriptures
 say, "Love is not proud or rude" (1 Corinthians 13:4-5.) 

    

6. Thou shalt not lord it over thy wife, recognizing
 that the two of you are equal before God and
 that leadership in the home does not mean
 dictatorship. Neither does it mean being 
waited on nor having the best piece of chicken.
 Leadership means moral, financial,
 and spiritual responsibilities. Headship in the 
home also means sacrifice and service. As 
the scriptures say, "Submit yourselves one to
 another out of reverence for Christ" (Ephesians 5:21), 
and "Husbands, do not be harsh with them" 
(Colossians 3:19). Thou shalt not abdicate thy 
leadership role because of apathy or indifference,
 for love cares and bears all things. 

     

7.  Thou shalt see that thy wife is thy best
 friend.  The closest of all human relationships
 is marriage and it should know joyous comradeship,
 with laughter and good humor. Thou shalt
 share affection and confidences with thy wife
 and long to be in her presence. As the scriptures
 say, "Live joyfully with thy wife whom thou lovest"
 (Ecclesiastes 9:9). 

     

8. Thou shalt help thy wife in all those ways
 that sacrificial love would help, giving her of thy
 time, money, attention, affection (yea, even washing
 the dishes as needed), remembering that the
 scriptures say, "Bear ye one another's burdens and so
 fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2). 

       

9. Thou shalt accept thy wife as she is. 
Thou shalt not expect perfection. Thou
 shalt forgive her of her mistakes and confess thine
 own to her, remembering that "love covers all sins"
 (Prov. 10:12).  "Forgive each other as God in Christ
 has forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:32). 

     

10. Thou shalt practice tenderness as the essential
 emotion, realizing that sex is a gift of God which
 expresses and enhances love. Sex is giving joy
 as well as receiving it. Thou shalt consider that
 nothing can erode the sexual union more 
than selfishness. Remember the scriptures say, 
"The husband's body does not belong to him 
alone, but also to his wife" (1 Corinthians 7:4); 
"Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies"
 (Ephesians 5:28); "As ye would that (she) should
 do unto you do ye even so unto (her)” (Matthew 7:12). 

     

11. Thou shalt in some way each day show thy
 wife that "I need you,” that “I appreciate you,”
 and that "I want to help you." So shalt thy marriage
 become a strong and blest tie that binds two 
hearts in Christian love. 

    

12. And should thy marriage become trying and
 seemingly an endurance contest, thou shalt not 
give up. Thou shalt "bear all things, believe all things,
 hope all things, endure all things" (1 Corinthians 13:7).
 Thou shalt trust thy God who is love and who is the
 God of the resurrection to rekindle and renew 
thy love. Thou shalt treat thy wife as thou didst when
 love was new. And having done all, thou shalt
 "suffer long" and "cast thy burdens on the Lord" 
knowing that he careth for thee and thy mate (1 Peter 5:7).